Sunday, October 11, 2009

When Love happens……

Her number stays on speed dial

You remember the finer details- the smile, the fingers, the toes…

You don’t think and do….you do and think

You take random drives just to feel the wind

You get addicted to a particular track…listening to it time and time again

You close your eyes but can’t sleep

Love Songs start making sense

You think y and Look up in the sky?

Shit happens !

Monday, August 10, 2009

Track II- Little plastic angels

Wake up at the break of dawn

They make my world spin

Shake them off and I run away

Into the city filled with sin

I look around and they’re all I find

I ride away again

I wanna world without their faces

I wanna feel no pain

But wherever I go, I’m stuck with these angels

These angels straight from hell

I take out my loaded automatic

And straight to earth they all fell

Chorus

These little plastic angels

Fucking with my head

I’m what they want, i’m what they need

These little plastic angels want me dead.

Pleasure could be their reason

Evil could be their goal

Eating up my conscience

These angels tear through my soul

should i keep running,

or fight my own fear,

they just seem to get stronger,

these angels come from hell.

Do I see a dead end,

Will i see this all unfold,

then i get up in bed,

I see she has my soul!

Track 1- There is a god in me

If ever we drop
Remember we lost
Inside the reasons
Whatever we'll know

A silent melody
A surface memory
A sound symphony
Became a part of me
A sudden shift between
A different frequency
My hand has spread the sea
It's like there's a God in me

And when the fear comes
White amber rain falls
A somber wind calms
I'm under his thumb
What have I let go?
What have I become?
I don't know either
Whatever we'll know

A silent melody
A surface memory
A sound symphony
Became a part of me
A sudden shift between
A different frequency
My hand has spread the sea
It's like there's a God in me
A silent melody
A surface memory
A sound symphony
Became a part of me
It's like there's a God in me

It's like there's a God in me

It's like there's a God in me

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Hurt - Johny cash

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way


- Johny Cash

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Fiction : II

Heylooo people...here is my second fiction story:


My name is Ashton Mathew….I have a problem....I was told that there are two kinds of people, the good people and the bad people. They say the good people go to heaven where as the latter find a hole deep under.
Now if that were right, no one today would go to heaven, reason being every one has sinned at some point of time.
So lets break it down. Say they are two categories of behavior in a mans life, the good kind and the bad kind. Now I’m thinking that whomever decides our fate after death would probably equate the number of good deeds done to the number of bad ones or vice versa. I thank my mind for believing this whole theory for the mind is a beautiful thing that should never be destroyed.

Now here is my story:



" I am going to fucking kill everyone here today", he said. The guy is sweating so much, he is so nervous. "This is a damn robbery, every one stay on the ground...I need this money". He makes me go to the manager and get the locker code. I do as told...the guys so nervous, he could pull the trigger anytime, besides I got a family at home and my fathers dying." All I needed was to draw the money and get to the hospital, Darn it!", I thought.

By now everyone seemed bewildered and petrified. I decided though, that I would be calm and get this done with, after all the first thing i learned in my profession is to be calm and listen to what the patient has to say.

So now I get the locker code, help him get the money out and wait for his next move. He is done , and now we all go home.

'WAIT A MIN!, he screamed, 'Where do you think you’re going?'. Now I was assuming I would get back onto the ground and he would just get the hell out of there. Well I was wrong.

"I need a hostage to get me the hell out of here.", oh me , Why me?...the old lady there looks vulnerable and easy... take her", I thought. Now I need to help this Sicko get out of here...FUCK!


Sirens Blazing!, he knew the Feds were here. Now he’s all hysterical. He takes his gun back out from his coat and shoots the manager right through his damn head!


"FUCK FUCK FUCK!!", he said.
I said " WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?", I don’t know how I built up the courage to say that. Thought I was a goner, but all he did was look at me and didn’t say a word.

Now I thought I would have to talk to him out of this.
Reason a) I am the only guy, who he hasn’t threatened or put a bullet through the head and b) because its my job as a doctor to understand and solve the patients condition.

I decided that now they are only two ways to get out of this, either to make him surrender since we are already cornered by the cops or worse, talk the guy into shooting himself. Now for a psychiatrist that seems to be any easy task, all my patients are usually sick of life.


The gunshot got everyone all nervous. I needed to do something. This pregnant lady is still screaming. "AHHHHH!...shut up for fuck sake or you and your kid will be seeing the end of his bullet…" I thought.

Now he has got his gun aimed at her. "Wait, hold on!, shes a mother. Have a heart”.
He looks at me and puts the gun down. ‘ I have a heart , just shut her up. She is getting me nervous.’ I signal to the fellow ladies around her to keep her calm.

Hmm…the understanding type.
‘Man I could use a drink right about now.’, he said.
Well thank you Jesus!, I am happy I didn’t get rid of the habit. Find my small tin bottle with with my favourite Jack daniels inside.

“Here you go.” I said. “
Thanks mate”

“So whats your plan?”, not expecting an answer.

“Well, I am sorry”, he said,” just that I know I am anyway going to hell but I need this money.” Probably now is a good time to give him my theory on good and bad.

“Well, not necessarily, I mean If you let these people go, you have saved more than you have killed.”
But I did kill, he said.

“Then maybe you should ask for forgiveness once your out of here???”


“I know I am not getting out of here alive, maybe he would forgive me if I just shot myself and let these guys out of here, Its just that I really feel sorry for you.”

Man that was easy, he’s already thinking of suicide. “ Sorry for me?, that’s ok I am sure they will understand why I got late”. I said

So without saying another word, he just finishes his drink, points the gun at his heart and BAM!

I just got up from our drinking seat and walked thinking why he shot himself in the heart…PSYCHO.

I walk two more steps fall on the ground, blood oozing out of my chest all over my coat.

Cant destroy the mind, for it is a beautiful thing.


Deceased: Ashton Mathew patient suffering from par amnesia on temporary discharge as recommended by Psychiatrist.



So now, where am I going, hell for the robbery and the manager or heaven for saving everyone else in that bank?